• Päivi Maria Wells

Longing and Art



Within the many conversations I have had with people I am curious how differently we all view the world around us. Sometimes people comment my images as peaceful, soft, serene, abstract... sometimes I hear that they have melancholy, silence, solitude or loneliness and for some, perhaps sadness in them. I appreciate feedback like this tremendously as it can spark the most meaningful conversations. To open up my perspective I sometimes remind myself of these words and try to look at my own images through others’ eyes. But though I fail to see sadness or melancholy, I do see longing.



By the Water, © Päivi Maria Wells


I have often wondered why do I have such a deep need to create images and I think a big part of this is in my sense of longing. For much of my life I have struggled with the idea of belonging. Since young age and even in most familiar surroundings, I often had a feeling of being an outsider, of not belonging. This conflict between inner and outer worlds created a deep rooted restlessness and an urge to seek an inner purpose in life from early on. Later in life I have come to realise that this sense of longing will always be with me no matter where I am. I fully acknowledge it now and rather than being a burden I now accept it as a fuel for my curiosity and a driving force in much of my life, especially that of creativity.


Photography is my creative outlet and a way for me to document my inner experience. For me this is a natural way of being in this world and a way to communicate how I see the world around me. It is the sense of longing that has forced me to push my boundaries with my camera, to push myself out to the world and into myself. To create what wants to be created. And what I have found on the way is something ever so precious. There is nothing more satisfying than quietly and slowly observing the unfolding of life around us. Sometimes blurry, noisy and in constant motion, other times silent and clear. Photographs taken during these times are mere by-products of this inner experience. It is in these experiences where my mind is no longer lingering on thoughts and I am fully focused and present in here and now, that I finally feel a deep sense of belonging. It is here where I draw a sacred circle.


One of my favourite writers and the author of "The Way We Are - Dark tales from the Himalayas" Yoshay Lama Lindblom have said that even though we may not all be spiritual, it seems that we all seek enlightenment. The only difference is that some seek it intellectually, some romantically, some through familial fulfilment and some through creativity. I find a great wisdom in her words. That we are all seekers in our own special ways.


There is a place in the heart that

will never be filled

a space

and even during the best moments

and greatest times

we will know it

we will know it

more than

ever

there is a place in the heart that

will never be filled

and we will wait

and

wait

in that space


No Help for That by Charles Bukowski


More of Yoshay's words can be found here:

http://www.yoshay.com



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© Päivi Maria Wells, 2020

email: paivimariawells@gmail.com